Thursday, June 3, 2010

A sad reality

This week our family has moved from our nice suburban home in Woodstock to a small condo in downtown Hamilton to be closer to the cancer centre for Xavier's next phase of treatment.
It has once again been an emotional roller coaster.
Generally I like moving, sounds crazy, but I just can't seem to stay in one place long enough. However, this is one move I did not want to make. Hamilton, for one, is not my city of choice, and two, it just isn't home in this now 850 sq-foot condo. The area is not so hot either. I wouldn't dare take the kids for a walk along James Street (only blocks away from where a pregnant woman was recently shot during a convenience store robbery ). I step outside and hear the roar of traffic and the hum of electricity. Right now I hear the train pulling in at the Go station beside our apartment building.
Although my surroundings are not what I would call luxurious (albeit Chateau Royale claims it is) I don't think my upset has anything to do with the actual place. It is coming to the sad reality that Xavier's world is upside down again -- and now a daily reminder that he has brain cancer.
For a month, while he was recovering from his chemotherapy, it was almost normal again (aside from the pharmacy in our kitchen and his tube feeds). Xavier and Mackenzie played side by side, fought like brother and sister and happily drummed together on our glass table at meal times. It was heartwarming to see them together since they had been apart for so long. I felt like a mom of twins again -- and as much work as they were together, I was happy.

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