Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Sleepless nights

I am almost too tired to even write this post... my eyes are heavy and my body weak.
But I have been slacking on my updates (among a number of other things).
Have had some emotional days recently. Nothing particular has happened, just a lot of reflecting on what has transpired in the past five months. But I find just when I start to feel sorry for myself I am reminded of all that I have to be thankful for... two beautiful children. I can't help but think of all those parents who either lost a child or were unable to get pregnant. No matter how bad some days are with the kids, I am very lucky to have them, to hold them in my arms and kiss them goodnight each and every night. I frequently have the urge to go into their rooms and watch them sleep as I often did when I first brought them home from the hospital 12 months ago.
The twins are becoming little people now; full of personality. Mackenzie has become so independent now and I treasure each time I get her still long enough to cuddle. Xavier is also progressing by leaps and bounds. He is one smart kid. He amazes me everyday with what he can do despite all that he has been through.
Unfortunately he has been having headaches and his nights have been extremely restless. He wakes up several times moaning and whining and kicking at the mattress or crib rails. He will be up for an hour or so doing this before settling again for a couple hours. It is really difficult not knowing what is wrong... could just be teething but could also be a side effect of radiation.
Nonetheless, I am not going to use this time to complain about my lack of sleep, but rather cut this post short so I can catch up on some of that lost sleep.
Good night!

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