Our first Chrismtas

"Life today is not what it was yesterday."
We are heading into our second Christmas season with the twins. They will be 18 months old on Nov. 30. What a different Christmas it will be this year. As much as I want to remember the kids' first Christmas as being full of magical moments and memories we will keep forever, I can't. I actually look forward to making lasting memories this year with them to replace the rather upsetting memories from last.
It was about this time when Xavier was starting to get really sick. He never got better. By Christmas 2009, he was throwing up almost every day and crying uncontrollably most of the day. He looked terrible with big, purple bags under his eyes and when you looked into his baby blue eyes you could see pain and suffering.
Our first Christmas with the twins was one of sadness and helplessness, not knowing what was wrong with Xavier. He cried Christmas morning between opening gifts. He cried through our dinners and cried during our family trip to Great Wolf Lodge.
This year, he is a totally different kid. He is happy. He looks well and as far as we know he feels well. He and Mackenzie are two peas in a pod and I am so excited about seeing them interact together Christmas morning.
I can't wait to see their eyes light up when they open their presents and play with the boxes and not the toys. I want to see their smiles when they eat Christmas dinner and all the sweet treats to follow.
To me, this is our first Christmas with the twins.
Xavier may have brain cancer, but my little guy is so much better now. He has a MRI Nov. 25 and I am confident the results will be good.
He is a fighter.
He is strong.
And he has an adorable sister who loves him even though she doesn't always show it.
Mackenzie has quite the personality. What a drama queen . She is the complete opposite of Xavier. He is easy going, laid back and quite content whereas she is eccentric, the spirited one of the pair. But she is perfect in my eyes and everyday I look them as they play and can't help but smile.
Life is not what I expected it to be, but it's exactly what it should be. God made it so and I am thankful for that.